


Time to be honest

by itsnotmeiswear



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, First Kiss, M/M, Missing Scene, Oblivious Edward Nygma, POV Edward Nygma, gotham 5x11, very short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-11
Updated: 2020-04-11
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:22:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23586814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsnotmeiswear/pseuds/itsnotmeiswear
Summary: It's late, Edward sits by himself, reflecting on how he has handeled his feelings for Oswald so far.
Relationships: Oswald Cobblepot/Edward Nygma
Comments: 13
Kudos: 71





	Time to be honest

**Author's Note:**

> Takes place in season 5 episode 11, about a day after the hug.

Edward refills his glass and sits down. Things are clearer now. He only recently stopped lying to himself, it’s time to stop lying to Oswald as well. Edward knows that unfortunately long-term lies aren’t exactly his strength. At some point he always has to leave a hint or talk a little to much. Claiming the submarine needed two people to operate was an excellent short time lie, which totally blew when Nyssa stole it and took off. By herself. He was also easily believed, when he said he wanted to fight for Gotham and its people, but in a moment of carelessness he slipped up on that one too. Told Oswald he didn’t care about any of them. Because the truth is this: Oswald told him to follow his heart, so he followed Oswald. He couldn’t admit it to anyone else then and it’s even surprising he admits it to himself now.

  
Edward sighs. He can’t stop wondering whether Oswald noticed his little hiccups. Oswald certainly doesn’t expect to be lied to. Not by him. He only lied out of fear of losing him again. But now he knows it is the same for Oswald too. Edward was never sure if Oswald still loved him after all that happened. It took him so long to recognise his own feelings that he could hardly expect from Oswald that he hasn’t changed his mind in the meantime. But he knows now. Since he told Oswald, he couldn’t love, because love is sacrifice, Oswald had sacrificed so much for him. Today more than ever. It was undeniable. Edward couldn’t use his uncertainty as an excuse to delay confrontation any longer. And yet, it all doesn’t change the fact that he is afraid. Not only of what Oswald will say, but of showing that part of himself for the first time. It screams and begs to be let out and it has been doing it for a long time, but it feels to vulnerable to be exposed. Something he wants to run and hide from until he forgets it exists. It seems it will become real the moment he says it out loud, except he knows it’s already very, very real.

  
He looks in his glass. It’s empty He barely remembers drinking anything, but apparently that impression is wrong. He puts the glass down. Maybe alcohol is not the best idea right now.  
“Good Night, Ed.” A familiar voice makes him look up. Oswald is standing in the doorframe, smiling gently. “I’m going to bed now.”

  
“Yep. Good night,” Edward mumbles, entranced by the figure in the doorframe, that slowly starts to leave again. After another moment, Edward remembers something.

  
“Oswald, wait!” He gets up, suddenly agitated. Oswald’s head appears behind the corner again with a confused expression. “Yes? What is it?”

  
“Your bandages need changing,” says Ed rather blandly, back to his usual self again.

  
He gets his medical kit and as he sits down on Oswald’s bed, he feels a kind of heat in his chest that makes him want to loosen his tie. Of course, he already took of his jacket and loosened his tie hours ago, so he swallows the feeling and changes Oswald’s bandages. Every time he sees the injury his chest tightens, and he gets a lump in his throat. But he can’t do much about it except mending it carefully.

  
After he finishes, his hands linger on Oswald’s temple a little longer. Once again, a mysterious spell keeps him in place.

  
“I still can’t believe you would do that for me,” Ed whispers.

  
“Ed, please,” Oswald said fondly and put his hand on Edward’s thigh.

  
Edward glances at Oswald’s hand. It was a gesture that could easily be dismissed, but Edward knows what’s behind it. A part of Oswald that is still there, but too afraid to show itself. Too afraid to ever assume anything again. Locking itself away forever without complaint.

  
Oswald notices Edward’s glance and pulls his hand back. Subtle. Almost apologetic. Edward looks at his face again, in awe of how he is now willing to suffer to respect his boundaries. Edward cannot let him suffer any longer. He runs his fingers down Oswald’s cheek and gently cups his face. Edward’s heart beats so fast, it might try to jump out of his chest, but he doesn’t hesitate. Nothing can stop him from what he wants to do now. He pulls Oswald’s face closer, slowly, giving him every chance to back out if he wants to. He doesn’t, of course.

  
Finally, their lips touch. Edward kisses him softly and pulls back. Their faces still very close, he observes Oswald. His eyes shine at him in awe. It occurs to Edward that this was likely Oswald’s first kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> I found this scribbled in an old notebook. I have no memory of writing this, but I figured since it’s a finished piece, I might as well post it. I have other nygmobblepot fics planned, but they don’t fit into the cannon of this one.  
> Hope you enjoyed it :)


End file.
